A Saturday Morning in April

I'm sitting in bed right now and it feels great. Of course I have gotten out of bed  but I came back and I love it. I don't get to spend much time in my bed, a place I genuinely love. I currently have dough rising so that I could make "bakes" (a sort of fried version of bread).  LDPartner is in the kitchen doing dishes and preparing a salad for breakfast. These are moments I cherish-the simple things, like having someone else in the apt to talk to or even better cook for me.

I've been feeling foul for the last few months- a lazy, going-through-the-motions kind of feeling. I hate it but I can't seem to get out of the funk. I have so much that I need to get done, so much I want to do but I can't seem to get myself to do it. I feel like I'm trapped inside of myself (weird I know) but its like there is the rational me who has all these lists that need to be worked on. Then there is another person who couldn't care less. this couldn't care less person is in charge of controlling my body so nothing gets done. I need help!!! Maybe I should make use of the counnseling and wellness center at my institution. Figure out what kind of "unresolved issues" are holding me prisoner inside myself.



LD Partner is here for one more week and we have done none of the things we planned except eating out alot, and some of what we didn't plan (don't ask). I'm off to make those bakes.

Toodles,
Dee.

Observation

I was looking at the old posts and I have realized that my spelling has been atrocious!!! And it's not because I can't spell but that I don't read over the posts which are usually typed in haste. Will try to do better moving forward. I will be using the spell check in the future.

Later!

Why am I doing this to myself?

It's been nearly (in two more days) a month since my last post. Let's just say I've run through just about every single emotion known to man during this time. I have had really high highs and really low lows, and all in between- both at school/work and in my personal life. The good news is that I am still here. There are days that I feel invincible and that I can conquer the world-curing my disease of study along the way. Other days I wonder why in the world am I voluntarily puting myself through the torture of failure after failure for the ever elusive and fleeting successes that pop up ever so often. I will let you know when I figure out a truly philosophical answer. Until then, I will return to my lab bench and continue building plasmids and running gels to confirm their accuracy.

I read an article on contentment and it seems to be something that I need to work on (especially the part about being content when things aren't going well-puzzling I know)...I will leave you with these words from Paul,

 Philippians 4:11-13

¹¹ I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Toodles,
Dee.

PS #Oomf is here visiting which makes me oh so happy but has me feeling oh so sad at the same time.