Dark side of human nature

Today I grieve for a young girl who I didn't know. She share's a first name with my own cousin and the last name of the man I love-a name I may one day call my own.Why do I grieve? She is no longer with us. Why? She was ripped from among us by the most horrendous act of violence that one may ever experience as WOMAN. She was 16/17. She left home to run an errand which would change the course of her life either way it turned out. Earlier in the year she had taken a regional exam and left home to collect the results at her school. She did so, run another errand and was never seen again. People speculate about what happened and they have no right. No-one deserves what happened to her. Why did it happen to her? Well first she was a girl. Whoever took her, [may have raped her and] murdered her obviously had an attraction to women though it seems to be a sadistic one. He felt the need to exert his power on a young girl who probably couldn't defend herself. It may have been planned or it may have been a crime of opportunity. Unless he is caught we will never know. Her death reminds me of a rape and murder which took place when I was much younger. The killer's reason was written on a wall- she had too much "style" (meaning she was too snobbish).  

So today I grieve, for her and for all those young lives we've lost to the viciousness of rape and murder. I pray that her family can recover from this blow and find the strength to go on.

Pro-Life and Pro-Choice

I am pro-choice and anti-abortion. Yes, it is possible since they are not mutually exclusive as those on either side of the debate would have you believe. I am a Christian and as such I believe in the sanctity of life. I believe that life begins at conception and that every life has a purpose although it may not be immediately apparent. Just ask parents who have given birth to and cared for children who they were told would never live “normal” lives but who ended up not just living but thriving. Ask those who gave birth to children who were terminally ill but had enough time with them that their lives were forever changed and whose short existence gave them a purpose they would otherwise have never realized. At the same time I believe in God-given free will-the freedom to choose whatever path you desire with a clear understanding of the consequences. Even he does not impose His desires on man so why should we. If a medical professional chooses to be in the business of abortions then he is free to do so. If a woman decides that she wants to seek out and take advantage of his services then she should have the freedom to do so. I completely DISAGREE with both their choices. If I had a say I would recommend adoption. I would tell her how her baby would be going to a lovely home with people who really wanted it and that it would grow up with the best of everything. But at the end of the day it’s really a matter of choices, choices that I believe she should have. Life is not the opposite of choice so I can be both Pro-Life and Pro-Choice at the same time. The only time that I believe it is ok to terminate a pregnancy is when the mother and child are at risk e.g. ectopic pregnancies. If you don’t terminate, the baby will die anyway and put the mother at serious risk possibly killing her as well. Some people would recommend that you take your chances and see what happens (despite all the medical data out there-care to guess who). To them I say, if you ever have cancer, you should take your chances and see what happens. 

My 2 cents

Akin and the rest of the party are a bunch of hypocritical jackasses. The End.

I'm going to try a hobby

Today while wallowing in self pity I went ahead and did something a little crazy. I have never been an artist though I have secretly wished that I was. I never did anything to even find out whether I had any talent with a brush and some pigments-until today. I went all out and bought acrylics, easel, brushes, palettes and paint boards (stuff to paint on). It amounted to a nice chunk of change but It's not something that I have to run through at once. I will dabble while learning about painting and seeing where it leads. I have no big dreams of  being showcased in art galleries but I hope this helps me get through this bout of depression. I can't afford to be depressed. Life goes on and will leave me behind.

Toodles,
Dee

I'm Alone

I haven't been keeping to my regularly scheduled blogging which I will try to remedy. Today i will rant about something I've mentioned before but which came up again. I am lonely here. I am a grad student with 0 friends in grad school which may be a recipe for disaster. I use the word friends to describe people confide in and can call up anytime etc- a BFF. I have people I and cordial with- I smile and try to make small talk with but only when we happen to run into each other. It is depressing!!! I went to a function where everyone else seemed to have other people they know and hang out with and I felt like the odd one out. I had no shared experiences with them so I could not contribute much or know who and what they were talking about. LD Partner tried to make me feel better after I retreated to a corner and started texting with him but he can't really grasp what I'm going through. he lives near his family and is works with and goes out with his friends. He knows that I am a loner since the only place we went with other people was church and bible study. We never had anyone over for lunch or dinner or were invited out. One of the reasons for this is that I don't like being a third or fifth wheel and most everyone I know out here has a partner. So going out with 3 other couples and being alone does not appeal to me. The only other place I can interact with people is church and there seem to be tight knit networks already formed which I feel uncomfortable breaking into. I've also not gone to church for about 3 weeks and no-one has called to see if I'm ok or messaged (except for an older lady I find outrageously nosy and did not respond to).

So, I am alone. My lab has 2 other  people-one older and married with kids and the other younger but probably with other friends since we really don't talk much. I did the initial outreach to a girl I was trying to be friends with. We went to lunch once but since then nothing really except for meetings in the hallways. I'm tired and frustrated and lonely. I am a Christian, I don't swear, I don't drink much (been to bars and don't plan on going again), I'm a homebody. Maybe I should avoid social situations entirely since I only realize how lonely I am after one of them.

Toodles
Dee

I can't think of an appropriate title

There has been lots of talk about Christians and The Church in general in the “atmosphere” in the last few weeks. Just about everyone has heard of the growing debate about same-sex marriage. There are opponents and proponents which will always be the case because we are free thinking humans and we base our decisions on experience, emotions and a myriad of other complex factors. Christians have been taking a lot of heat for their perceived intolerance and bigotry and …yeah, you get the point. I am not sure how to broach the subject without being lump in with the rest my brothers and sisters in Christ.

 In order to understand why Christians believe this you need to understand Christianity and have some knowledge of the Bible. If you have no idea what’s in there, then I don’t think that it’s fair to judge-at least not objectively (that sounds weird but bare with me). We Christians believe that the Bible was inspired by the creator of the universe and written by men to use as a history book and life manual. I’ve heard it described as God’s love letter to His Church. This love letter has many unpleasantries and many question its authenticity. I’m not going to get into all of that. What I would like to mention is why I think some Christians (as Christianity is a spectral religion) hold the beliefs that they do by stating a simple fundamental fact that I’ve come to learn: we were created by God for HIS glory and pleasure. How does that translate into what we see today? Well for one, we have developed into a culture which embraces and promotes self exaltation which is in direct contrast to what is taught in scripture. We cheer for Olympic athletes who can accomplish great feats of strength, speed and endurance and reward them for it. They are given endorsements worth millions to promote products based on our idolatry of them and their skills. We as a people see nothing wrong with it because we were raised in the culture and we basically know nothing else. We are raised to be the smartest in our class, the fastest on the track, the most fun-loving in our group of friend. We thrive on being loved and exalted by those around us. Social networking adds other dimensions- we derive our status from how popular we are on FB, how many followers we have on the T, how many times we get retweeted etc. Essentially we thrive on being celebrated, it’s a status symbol and we place our worth of ourselves in what others think of us. We live our lives (me included) trying to make ourselves happy. We buy cute shoes so that we can get complimented. We buy the latest electronics so that we feel superior to the guy with the outdated gadget. I could go on but you should get the gist by now.

I believe (don’t quote me since this is my interpretation) that pursuing relationships falls in with our need for validation. We need someone to love us, tell us we’re beautiful, and wipe our tears. In biblical times and even today in some countries, people don’t get married for the reasons that the we in western world do. In some cases, you don’t have a choice in who you marry; it’s about duty and obedience. Christians have adapted marriage differently but with undertones of these “prehistoric” reasons.

So how does this mish-mash that I’ve described mean anything? Well, pursuing relationships is one way which we seek to please ourselves. Many people don’t give a second thought to God when choosing a partner. Christianity teaches that your marriage should honor God first (don’t ask me about Christian divorce. If your marriage honoring God should mean that you will honor each other I don’t understand why Christian marriages end up in divorce but they do). In order for your marriage to honor God, it has to mimic the first marriage described and created by God himself-Adam and Eve. One man One woman. (Modern Christians completely ignore the cases of Polygamy described and in some cases Okayed by God (King David for one who God loved). In the Church, a Christian can’t marry a non-Christian and even within Christianity you can’t or shouldn’t marry outside your denomination since differences in belief are sure to lead to discord.

So how does that affect those who identify as LGBT among us? Well for one two men or two women can never honor God. The Bible (English translations) makes specific references about homosexuality being an abomination. In line with our selfish nature, seeking a relationship with someone of the same gender may make us happy but we were not created to make ourselves happy.

The chief end of man is to glorify God. So if the chief end of man is to glorify God we are to deny ourselves anything which though it would make us happy, would displease God. That’s it. It is actually a pretty simple concept but one which we have great difficulty accepting (me included) because of innate nature to please ourselves first.

Questions I’ve asked myself:

Does the marriage of atheists honor God even though they are opposite in gender?

What is the definition of marriage in this society? Is it sacred joining together of two people who love God and each other (as defined by The Church) or a civil ceremony where a document confers exclusive legal rights to the parties involved.

If it is the first then, off course we can’t have same sex marriage but if it the second, then why not?

Would I prefer for a child in the “system” to remain in the system and be abused and neglected than adopted into a home with two people who love each other who happen to share the same genitalia?

Is homosexuality genetic? If it is I’d be better to reconcile it. Is it my business to understand it?